BarbecuedIguana

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Good Luck, Apollo 13 by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Good Luck, Apollo 13

“Houston, we have a problem.” Don't get me wrong, Apollo 13 is a great movie, but highly inaccurate. What I really said was, “Houston, we've had a problem,” as in “Houston, we've had ourselves another problem,” because that is what Apollo 13 was from start to finish. Problems, problems, problems. Short-circuits and broken gauges inside the capsule, inexplicable craziness outside it. Ken Mattingly, our original lunar module pilot had been exposed to the German measles. He didn’t catch them, just been exposed and that was enough for the docs. His replacement Edgar Haskins was attacked by a dog while out jogging in Pensacola. We spent a month watching his wounds heal. Our command module pilot Jack Swigert popped loose a crown while chewing on some bubble gum. Trivial thing, right? It delayed us two weeks as they pondered what it might do to his inner ear. And me? I wrapped my corvette around an oak tree in Jacksonville. I escaped unscathed, but had anyone been in the passenger’s seat it

The Brain Collector by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

The Brain Collector

“Hey guys, sorry I'm late,” said Duane, chunking himself down in a chair at the table, “I just picked this up at Woolworths. It's so cool you're gonna flip!” Out of a bright safety-orange book bag he produced a small plastic coffin surrounded by a smatter of plastic grass and three fake headstones. He clicked the middle stone and inside the device tightly wound springs began to unwind. Slowly the coffin lid crept open so a small skeletal hand holding a twenty-sided die could slide out. A sharp click and the hand recoiled, slamming the lid shut and rolling a 14. “Is that cool or what?” exclaimed Duane, &

Death, Devil, Magician and Fool by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Death, Devil, Magician and Fool

Late Autumn. 1918. I remember the day with perfect clarity. The sailors had revolted in Germany but we did not know that yet. The telegraph lines had gone down again. They were always going down, so out in our tiny garrison we simply assumed that the war was grinding on as it had for years. Woodrow Wilson had sent us the doughboys, but these men seemed far more intent on getting their hands on some lusty French lasses than battling the Hun. We called them doughboys because they seemed soft and puffy, like little bundles of dough awaiting the oven. Once they met the relentless pounding of artillery at the front we were sure they would be cryin

D-N-D by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

D-N-D

Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! Orc! See me ride out of the castle On your Dungeon Master screen Out for all that I can get If you know what I mean Half-elves to the left of me Half-orcs to the right Got a monkey grip And a mercurial great sword Gonna role play tonight. 'Cause I play D-N-D I'm a mystic knight. D-N-D and I'll win the fight D-N-D I kill giant trolls D-N-D. Watch my Die Roll!!! I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean Ain't no pala-dan. Gencon registrant number one Don'tchu understand? A symphony of slaughter A twilight knife Cast dimension door And run for you life The elf is back in town Th

Yokaimon-Go by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Yokaimon-Go

From a distance it seemed like a nice place. A small burg nestled deep in the Catskills, trees ablaze with autumn fire, crystal blue skies hanging high above them. From the highway Jason and Eric spied the tall white steeple of a Presbyterian Church, looking like some cottage industry attempt at a rocket quietly awaiting lift-off. Up close? Boarded up businesses. Abandoned cars. Gas stations touting prices many years out of date. Jason pulls his Ford Fiesta up to the main stoplight and sits there, checking his twitter feed, oblivious to an absence of power running to the light itself. Eric only notices this inbetween Instagram uploads. He s

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Good Luck, Apollo 13 by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Good Luck, Apollo 13

The Brain Collector by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

The Brain Collector

Death, Devil, Magician and Fool by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Death, Devil, Magician and Fool

D-N-D by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

D-N-D

Yokaimon-Go by BarbecuedIguana, literature

Literature

Yokaimon-Go

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Feature: AHT 2021 Winners by JessaMar, journal

Daily Deviation! by Memnalar, journal

CLOSED - All Hallows Tales: THIRTEEN by Memnalar, journal

CLOSED - All Hallows Tales: THIRTEEN

Sep 26, 2021

The RESULTS ARE IN. Thanks to all who entered! Entry Gallery This contest generously sponsored by prize donors and the following Groups: @CRLiterature, @communityrelations Hello once again, ghouls and ghastlies! It's that time of year for All Hallow's Tales Literature Contest, our annual celebration of all things spooky! This year marks the THIRTEENTH year of the AHT contest, a headstone...er, milestone worth celebrating! With that in mind, the theme this year is the ill-luck number itself: THIRTEEN. Thirteen ghosts. Thirteen tentacles. Thirteen stab wounds. Thirteenth birthday. Thirteen graves. Thirteen locks on the basement door. What does the number mean and what does it represent? That's entirely up to you! So dip your quill into the reddest of ink and tell us a story. Make it creepy, kids. The Rules If you've participated in this contest in the past, we're changing things up a bit this time around, so pay special attention! :eye: :eye: This year, the

About BarbecuedIguana

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July 9
United States
Deviant for 15 years
www.jdmcdonnell.com
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BarbecuedIguana

Oct 18, 2020

Sorry Ghouls...

1 min read

No Halloween story this year. I thought I had a good idea but when it came down to writing it? I hit a brick wall. I think it's just the craziness of 2020. Normally I have no problem starting things and tons of problems finishing them, but since the pandemic started the exact opposite is true. I have no problem digging up older projects and working on them but getting moving on anything new is next to impossible. So? Next year! 2021! Providing there is one, I will be back. Till then, be sure to check out the entries of the 2020 All Hallows Tales contest at...